By Darrin Corson
Onalaska, Wash.
My country sends me to foreign lands
To fight wars and push their demands.
These battles I have seen with my own eye
My comrades fighting some of them die.
The blood, the fire, the screams of all kind
Some things will never leave my mind.
I come home to the country I adore
My friends tell me I am not the same anymore.
I tell only few my deepest fears
God the pain to me its so near!
I am not mean it just makes me sad
I am a veteran and done things really bad.
No way to cope no way to think
Really bad this time, I need a drink!
Drinking to numb and try to forget
Those things I swore I would protect.
Drinking too much I know isn’t the way
But it’s how I cope with any new day.
Drinking daily now, my life is a mess
Now I know true loneliness.
Drinking has now turned me mean
Police almost daily called to the scene.
Too drunk to think and ready to fight
Off I go to jail this night!
In the cell I see a mess.
A once proud soldier, I think at best.
My life hurts too much can’t you see?
God why are you doing this to me?
My mind is scattered and gone array.
Come fight me God! Today is the day!
I leave the jail. I’ve done my time
I have hurt people when I said I was kind.
I have lied, I have stole, I was mean and cheated.
God showed me how much I was depleted.
The fight God showed me wasn’t with him.
It is with me deep within.
He told me my life is a gift.
I asked why I got stiffed?
He laughed and said “you need care”
“Now go find me again, right over there.”
I walked in to a strange meeting
Of happy people sitting and eating.
I asked if this was A.A?
Yep, have a seat, why don’t you stay?
I had people tell me their life.
It was strange but kinda nice.
Their stories were something like mine
And it was possible to be happy over time.
First thing I should do is get a book
Life can be awesome, take a look.
It has been four years since my last drink
Life is tons better as I stop and think.
I have stayed sober and haven’t gone astray.
Thank you God, my friends and the program of A.A.
“Sobriety is fantastic but AA is not the only way.” Maybe not, Laurian, but if it works, it works. Too bad Mr. Riccitti and a weight of a ton can’t muster up any compassion for someone battling his demons…must be great to be as perfect as they think they are.
AA? I’ll drink to that!
Confusion Inc., I agree —- What???
Could someone provide a translation for the rest of us?
“Dean Riccitti says:
Wednesday, February 21, 2018 at 11:11 am
I don’t need you to crow everyone to do the days that you do, 3% did and talked everyone else, shut up and do you’re self about all of us. Shut up and do nothing. Dean Riccitti”
Sobriety is fantastic but AA is not the only way
I don’t need you to crow everyone to do the days that you do, 3% did and talked everyone else, shut up and do you’re self about all of us. Shut up and do nothing. Dean Riccitti
Hi Darrin,
Thank you for your service…it seems like so much more is given than time. I am sad that so many fail to understand the toll excised on those who serve. Your willingness to be transparent and share your pain, your failures and your victories may help others to overcome their pain and hurt. God bless you and I will be praying for you.
Your story is a great reason why we should not fight wars for special interests. Have we forgotten Vietnam? One more thing you volunteered you were not drafted. Read your history books before you enlist. Nothing good comes from war. Many people do not come back the same and the people pushing war are rich. I felt the same fury after 9/11 wanted to enlist. It was clear we are fighting a war that can’t be won. I can’t say I feel for you. You should be deterring others from enlisting. Your country did not send you there you went willingly. Good excuse for alcoholism, wasting taxpayers money and social programs. War is a good excuse to waste lives. Should have thought about that before playing gi joe. Don’t worry we will waste millions trying to fix your tattered brain. We got your back.
Darrin, As you have found, God does not give up on you. I too am a veteran who came home a mess. Clean and sober here now for 28 years. As they say, one day at a time. Sometimes its a slow slog and sometimes life gets better by leaps and bounds. I will be praying for you, brother.
Don’t blame the war, but the old army was a great place to learn to drink. I drank before during and after the army and the Vietnam war. Got thrown in jail for the night at 35 and quit drinking and went to AA for 11 years. Glad your sober. Take it from me, just don’t pick up that first drink again.