Nikki Warner pets her son’s chihuahua and his companion as she reflects upon the short life of her son.
By Sharyn L. Decker
Lewis County Sirens news reporter
KALAMA – She has her son’s small dog, Dexter.
She has one of her toddler’s slippers, that she dug out of a cardboard box from the shed at the vacated house in Vader.
Nikki Warner has toys, framed handprints and photos arranged in a shrine surrounding a tall ocean-blue glass urn next to her bed.
But she doesn’t have her son.
Jasper James Henderling-Warner was 3 years old when he died while in the care of a married couple, parents to three of their own children. The household moved to the south Lewis County town about two weeks before his short life came to an end on Oct. 5, 2014.
Jasper Henderling-Warner
Danny A. Wing, 26, and Brenda A. Wing, 27, were arrested a month later. And last year, they pleaded guilty to first-degree manslaughter. The coroner said the child died from ongoing abuse and neglect.
The husband is serving a 34-year term in prison. The wife is expected to be sentenced today.
While news coverage of the case has portrayed the single mom as handing her son over to the Wings for a year, because she was homeless and couldn’t care for him, that’s not exactly accurate, according to Warner.
The arrangement was intended to be temporary, she said, the initial plan was only for a week.
Warner has been waiting. Waiting for the trips to the courthouse in Chehalis to be over. In her pocket, she carries the page she read to the judge when Danny Wing was sentenced. With minor adjustments, she’ll read the same words to the judge this afternoon.
The now-22-year-old said she doesn’t mind speaking about her son.
“Some days, it will hurt too much to talk about him,” Warner said. “But other days, it makes me feel better.”
Warner grew up in Woodland, adopted into a large family when she was in grade school. At 17, she moved to a high school in Vancouver, because there was a teen pregnancy home and daycare to support students in her situation.
That’s where Jasper was born, she said.
It was going okay, until he was about a month old, she said, but then she filed complaints that his formula was being used by others at the daycare, and his diapers weren’t changed often enough, she said.
“I dropped out, to be a stay-at-home mom,” Warner said.
Then Jasper’s 21-year-old father went back to his old girlfriend.
“Jasper was super smart,” she said. “He was crawling pretty good by the time he was eight months, and by 10 months, he was running.”
Calm, a good listener, and definitely a cuddler, she said.
The two of them moved in with a friend and the friend’s mother. It might seem odd, she said, but the friend was Jasper’s dad’s ex-girlfriend.
“Me and her became good friends and Casey could visit his son,” he said. “That worked out for a few months.”
Then another girlfriend’s mother took her and Jasper in, she said.
Eventually, Warner made contact with her birth mother, who had an extra bedroom in her Vancouver-area trailer. They lived there a year, maybe a year and a half, she said.
Her son was a boy whose favorite foods were hot dogs – he could eat four at one sitting – and Gummy hot dogs.
Jasper loved water, she said.
“We had a routine, bath after dinner, a lavender bath,” she said. “Thirty minutes of relaxation and winding down.”
Also part of her child’s routine, was splashing all the water out of the tub and then racing to his closet to try to dress himself before she could even get a diaper on him, she said.
“He would pick out his own movies he wanted to go to sleep with,” she said.
Her little boy was super friendly, she said, good with other kids.
Then Warner’s mom ran off with a boyfriend, and there were bills to pay.
With no driver’s license, no car and having never held a job other than work study in school, she reached out to friends.
“I had to have a friend get me hooked up with a church, for help,” Warner said.
A roommate moved in, but then the rent was going to be due again, she said.
“I was hanging out with Danny and Brenda, they would come over and help with food,” Warner said.
The Wings were more like family than friends, she said, because one of Warner’s adopted brothers, Jeff Warner, is Danny Wing’s blood brother.
Jasper would go to their house, a motel, for sleep-overs with their kids on weekends, she said. The Wings were waiting for a house to open up in Longview, she said.
Warner said she got an opportunity of work for a week, cleaning and organizing a man’s barn for $20 an hour. It was in Chico, California, but a friend paid for her ticket, she said.
Brenda Wing told her they could take care of Jasper until she got back, she said.
“I didn’t see any warning signs,” Warner said on a recent day as she looked back to the summer of 2014. “They were clear of drugs, they seemed normal.”
Warner said she herself has been on and off drugs since she was 14 years old, but she was two weeks clean at that time.
And now, she has one year and two months behind her, she said as she reflected on the present.
“If I used again, Jasper would be mad,” she said.
Back to the summer of 2014: The day before Warner was set to leave for California, they all went to Taco Bell and then to a park where they played on the swings and slide.
“I said, let’s write a piece of paper, in case something happens while I’m gone,” Warner said.
The note they all three signed named the Wings guardian to Jasper, from July 31, 2014 to July 31, 2015.
It was in case he had to go to the doctor or anything, Warner said.
Jasper had a mohawk. Warner had got him a Ninja Turtle bubble machine. They went back to the trailer to get his stuff.
“I kissed him, I told him it’s okay,” she said. “Then he left, and that’s the last day I seen him.”
One week in California turned in to two.
Warner returned to find her friend had abandoned the trailer, somebody broke a window and the police showed up, she said.
“So I gathered up all my stuff and took it to my friend Josh’s in Oregon,” he said.
Warner talked to the Wings and told them she would be job searching there, putting in job applications at different places, she said.
The Wings told her to take her time, and do what she needed to do, she said.
“They said ‘oh yeah, we’ve been taking him fishing, he’s loving it’,” Warner said. “They’re telling me how good he’s doing, and he’s enjoying it.”
The friend in Oregon City lived with his parents, who didn’t know he was sneaking Warner in through the back door, or even that she lived there, she said. That didn’t last.
Warner’s sister brought her back to Washington.
“My ex-boyfriend took me in, I slept in a tent in his backyard for five nights,” she said. “Then I ended up living in a truck with one of his friends.”
Though she didn’t have her own phone, she was able to keep in touch with her son using other people’s phones, at first.
“I would talk to Jasper and he would tell me how he loved me, he went fishing, he had fun with rocks and stuff,” she said. “And I would tell him, ‘Mommy’s still trying to find a place and then you won’t ever have to leave my side again’.”
Brenda Wing told her she would bring Jasper to see her but that never happened, Warner said.
They often wouldn’t take her calls and when they did, they would make excuses, she said.
Warner said news accounts of the case keep repeating that the Wings brought Jasper to visit her in mid-September, but they didn’t. It was a telephone conversation on Sept. 21, she said.
“After that, they wouldn’t answer their phone for like two weeks,” she said. “That’s when I found out Danny was in jail, for fighting a cop or something.”
Warner got the phone call on Oct. 6, and learned her son had died.
The evening before, police and firefighters responded to the house on the 400 block of Main Street in Vader, told that a child was unconscious and not breathing. He was rushed to Providence Centralia Hospital where he was pronounced dead.
In person, Warner doesn’t mind answering questions, but she doesn’t speak of what the police say Jasper endured in the final weeks of his life.
“I already feel guilty I put trust in Danny and Brenda,” she said.
Today, she’ll go the courthouse in Chehalis, hopefully for the last time, and see the end of the court case. She’s prepared to tell the judge what sentence she believes is appropriate for Brenda Wing.
“I don’t want her to be able to see or smell daylight, or touch a kid again,” Warner said. “She’s a monster.”
The hearing in Lewis County Superior Court is scheduled for 1:30 p.m.
•••
For background, read “Sentencing delay looms again in Vader toddler death case” from Tuesday January 5, 2016, here
Jasper’s shrine.
The apple doesn’t fall to far from the tree does it Nikki. You abandoned that boy and after reading the case files one has to wonder what the real story is. Your story has a lot of holes in it and it seems to change quite a bit. You chose to party and use drugs instead of trying to take responsibility for your child. I see you as nothing less than an attention whore. How often did you have run ins with CPS? It sounds like your ” friends” spent more time with that child than you did. Sounds like you were more into bags and boys and getting high than being a parent. The truth will eventually come out and they will lock you up too. I think we all look forward to that day.
XDs I look forward to your online petition so true justice will be had in this case.
Nikki thinks this is all about her.
It is a mother’s responsibility to protect her child. This is about neglect, and abandonment.
I’m sure she loved him the way any other druggie loves their child. Welfare money for drugs.
Getting all the attention you’ve always wanted Nikki?
You disgust me
Whitney….what??? There wasn’t a coherent sentence in that entire rant.
Whitney,
You can still get free GED classes to perfect your already impeccable grammar & writing skills.
Trash is trash and if you actually read the case files on what happened to Jasper you might have a different view (if you could comprehend it)
and see that Jasper had been failed since birth.
Nikki, aren’t you going to comment or share how you were on public assistance since before Jasper’s birth yet those “benefits” did not go towards raising Jasper as you dumped him on the Wings?
That is a classic case of WELFARE FRAUD!!
All these comments coming from you no good worthless inconsiderate bitches that don’t know the entire situation beside what you want to out together of how this all went on when you have no clue about have of the shit your actually talking about and saying so how about you guys find your way off this article if you want to be negative and again and state your unwanted opinion that nobody even asked you for somewhere else where iit’s actually wanted cause it sure in the he’ll ain’t here that’s for sure….. and dont be so native to actually think that nikki the mother abused him at all cause you read in the article jasper had months old healing fractures ya he did so before assuming the d it did it you re read the article and learn how to read before you start opening that mouth of yours talking about something you don’t even know what you’re talking about because clearly it even states in the article and basically all of them since the day this all first started that Jasper had months old healing fractures and he was still in the care of the wings during that time so let me correct you on that but this is a pointless conversation to have with you ignorant stupidity being inconsiderate fucktards that mean nothing to me nor anyone else so go somewhere that somebody actually wants to hear your opinion cuz nobody wants to know hear all that ignorant negative bullshit you idiots are running that fat ass mouth that you can kindly shut AGAIN NOBODY I MEAN NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR YOUR SHIT LET ALONE YOUR DAMM OPINION NO ONE CARES TO HERE OR ASKED YOU FOR SO …. so if you dont mind can we finally go back to trying to celebrate that those animals that did this at least got 34 + years which is better and nothing at all JASPER JAMES I LOVA YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG BOY A BIG 5YRS OLD TODAY YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN NEVER RIP JASZZZY
I agree Shawna!
I think she should be in a cell right next to the other to monsters she had contact with that poor little boy and did nothing it has been proven that he suffered many bbeatings and yet she never new bull____ she deserves nothing but prison
Rose,
I would like to know that also.
Sharyn,
Any info on this?
What are Miss Warner and Mr Henderling doing with their lives now? Sad that their needs came before the needs of a child (Jasper) that they created.
Yay more people of Walmart yay!
Sad that wanting justice for a boy abandoned by his birth parents garners so much censorship.
Saint Butchery, or should we say Bo Rupert, either way no one gives two shits about that lazy slob who sits and trolls on multiple social media sites. Hypocrite was a perfect description for him. If those people are whoremongers because they believe that woman is also responsible for her sons death then I gladly join those ranks. Whoremongers Rule!!!
She doesn’t even deserve to have a pet in her care. I can’t even begin to imagine anything that would make a parent leave their child with anyone let alone for a situation like “cleaning someones barn” – that’s a load of crap. It was a drug romp & she didn’t even have the decency to check the child before or after checking the trailer then she took off to Oregon and left the child again???? You reap what you sow… and your innocent child paid the price for your selfishness.
Has everyone forgotten about the coroner’s report that said there were MULTIPLE fractures from fresh to many months old & some that were so old that they had healed already & improperly!
I’m sorry to burst all of your “Poor Nikki” bubbles but the Wing’s were not the first to abuse that poor child!
I know Bo Rupert personally and have for years. He is not a hypocrite. A pretty honorable guy with good intentions but poor tactics. Just like this girl was not a bad mother. Just in a bad situation. Run along now ye all whoremongers.
This woman is just as disgusting as the people that killed her son. She is clearly enjoying the media coverage and there’s no excuse to not check in on your child.
I would never trust someone who wasn’t a close family member for any extended amount of time. Living in a truck! Really? The bitch acts like it’s hard to get a REAL job. Pathetic.
No sympathy for this gutter rat. Sorry. She placed her child in dangerous hands, she left him there, she didn’t do what any decent parent would have done and checked in on him. There’s this thing called Skype for one! I would demand pictures and video. I would have known something was wrong with my child. Children are so transparent and you are telling me she didn’t get a ‘something is wrong’ feeling any time she talked to him. She clearly didn’t check on him enough or knew her son. No excuse!
I know several women that had to leave bad situations and not one of them left their children. Not one! Hell, I know a woman that moved from Idaho to Ohio after leaving a physically abusive relationship. She packed her kids, her dogs, and a few necessary items and made it to a friends in Ohio. They lived there until she found a job and got back on her feet. She was a good mother. She knew her job was to protect her children.
This woman should never be allowed to have children again. When there is a will there is a way! She just didn’t want him enough.
NO SYMPATHY is 100% correct!
If Nikki Warner was ever so slightly concerned about his wellbeing then she could & would have checked into a shelter, group home, sober (oxford) house, state assistance, ect!
Lie all you want but you still were the beginning of Jasper’s death.
This is awesome, Bo Rupert playing martyr! Well sir I have watched and read your trolling and let me say you sir are a hypocrite. Now run along and play with people who give a shit about your hypocritical statements.
All you”poor Nikki” supporters lets dish out the facts shall we? She basically is blaming the “system” for failing her therefore she failed her innocent son. She states she willingly left her child in a HOTEL room with these people and their kids. She went days, weeks, months without having contact with this boy. Let’s not forget about Casey Henderling, or otherwise known as KC Henderling on one of his many Facebook accounts, where was he? With his other girlfriend, not working and taking his turn with drugs. Then this boy dies and this LOVING and poorly misunderstood mother let this boy’s body lay in a cold box for weeks and the only reason why he was finally given a proper burial was because a man unrelated to this boy had to bring his “loving and misunderstood” mother and father to court and force them to make a decision. Please tell me how she was failed? How is she a victim?
And no I have never put myself before my children. I work to support my children and provide a safe roof over their head. If they are not in my care I damn sure know who they are with and their environment is safe. Every decision I make in my life is in consideration of my kids welfare and happiness. Please never compare parents like me to someone like Nicole Warner and Casey Henderling. Rot in hell dirtbags! I hope his face is staring at you everytime you close your eyes! The fact you were not held accountable is beyond sickening! The justice system did fail, it failed at holding all of you accountable for his death.
For her supporters I’m sure there is a gofundme account for her that you can help this poor and misunderstood “mom” get back on her feet! Save your “everyone has made mistakes” comments. I would NEVER choose the path she chose. Key words there are SHE CHOSE her path and she decided his fate. Disgrace!
Maybe I missed something, but if she was going to go to California for a one-week job, why did she sign her son over to the Wings for an entire year? What was she planning to do over the other 51 weeks?
What sympathy I might have for Nicole Warner is diminished by the fact that this poor child never never had a chance because of decisions she consciously made, but accountability is something only mean people seek in 2016. I do appreciate Sharyn relating this side of the story.
Ya make excuses for the lil worthless piece of shit ! This storyline that she gives is nothing but a way to cover her lil ass . She went to Cali to get free weed cutting bud !! So her Childs life was worth less than a bag of weed to her !! As a young father , I went through alot, but my son never, never, left my side , I made sacrifices for him, so she was put in a group home at 14 ,preg at 17 , wow sounds like a self inflicted wound . Myself,group homes from 10 , physically abused daily, runaway at 15 , homeless until 18 , but the min my son came in the pic , my life is spent making sure he knows how much he is loved . She is a excuses maker !! And a poor lil me welfare scum-bag who ,as far as im concerned, killed her child , rot in hell drug addicted scum .
If she loved Jasper as much as she claimed then he wouldn’t have been laying in a cooler at the morgue for over 6 months.
Ok let me get this straight the state put nikki with adopted parents where she got hooked on drugs at 14 and knocked up at 17 and then let her keep the child. the state failed to check up on the wings who were not qualified to to take care of their own children let alone a someone else’s so they could cash in more food stamps. (Trade for food for drugs?) the state is as much to blame as the wings – playing the kids for food stamps and benefits scam. so many piece of shit low life’s do these scams in cracked out trailer parks scattered across the county. Make the tweakers piss before you dish out benefits – many are trading for drugs. Deduct the cost of testing from their food stamps. Can’t get clean starve. Pick between the food or drugs or your kids. It might be a sobering moment. The system doesn’t make the problem any better. The system is the problem. Quit funding low life’s. Fight obesity. Cut food stamps. People like the wings would be begging for a job to feed their family instead they are fat and lazy content with their standing living off the ‘man’ in the ‘good’ or as like to call them ‘liberal ghettos’ that have been created by complacently of ‘welfare culture.’
It is so easy to judge what others do. I don’t know all the facts but I have had my own issues with Lewis County “justice” in the family courts! Obviously this mom was trying to do what was right, trying to get her life together and she just chose poorly as far as people to watch over him. She didn’t have a good example of parenting so she was doing the best she could with the tools she had at the time. That is what people don’t understand you can judge all you want from your comfy home life but you don’t know the struggle unless you have actually been there. Lewis county family court are big failures they remove kids that don’t need to be removed and they give kids back to those that don’t need to ever have kids, I know several cases, plus my own experience. My prayers for this young mother that she will find the strength to stay clean, the strength to go on and make a life that her son is watching from above a life that he can be proud of her. and my prayers that Lewis County actually does serve justice and put the real abusers behind bars forever, but I have very little faith….
Like any of you people have done anything with your lives?? All you guys have to do is troll the Sirens Page and make screwed up comments and pass judgment on everyone. At least I have the balls to make it known how I feel. Most of you are too cowardly to put your real name up. Anyone can hide behind a fake name and talk crap. If you are all such great pillars of the community and are such great people yourselves let us know who you are. Put up or shut up all of you.
Wow!!! Be angry folks, but also take pitty. Don’t compare a young inexperienced mother who had a hard childhood to a person that has it in them to physically hurt a child. Did she have poor judgment and her priorities screwed up? Obviously but that doesn’t mean she is as bad as a murderer. Nothing you can say or do could destroy this woman anymore then she already is. Can you imagine the pain? Regret? Shame? So kick her while she’s down!!! What’s that make you?
Broken Nester…I agree with you to an extent. With that said, trust me, that little boys face will forever be burned in my mind.
Did she have and “human decency” when she let her child that she loved so much sit in limbo and had to be taken to court by a man unrelated because he felt that poor child needed to be laid to rest once and for all? Where was her decency then? Where was her decency when she was hopping around trying to “better” herself and her child was slowly being killed? McDonalds is hiring! Hell our state gives people like her a free ride all the time, why didn’t she take herself and that child and ask for help? Where is her human decency at? Please enlighten me! And to ASTONISHED…clearly you have been hiding under a rock and not comprehending that, even in this article, she can’t give a plausible reason for leaving her baby in the hands of people who could barely care for themselves. Nikki Warner and Casey Henderling can change their names, move out of state, create multiple social media accounts, give a sob story how their life was hard and it still wouldn’t come close to justifying why that boys was left with those people. There isn’t one reason in this world that I would give for leaving my children and have them raised by other people. Over my dead body would I ever let that happen. We all have problems. We all make mistakes. But never describe her poor judgment as an accident. They should both be held accountable along with those pieces of shit that will rot in jail.
As a person who has followed this case in the press, it was nice to finally see an article from one of the parents. I have read the harsh comments. If you haven’t lost a child, then you should not judge these parents.
The fact is, a child was killed due to abuse. His life, a whisper, compared to ours.
We have all been young, faced challenges and life changing events, this could have been you or me in this article.
I hope the story of Jasper stays with the community for a long time. Maybe that way it will prevent another child succumbing to torture.
I feel that the Wings took away a child who was a promise, a possibility, a person who could have helped make a change in this cruel society. But wait, he already did. His death saved three other children in that home from possible, probable abuse. Maybe this tragic story will open some eyes and help with awareness for the ‘next’ child.
That is rich…Bo Rupert asking if people have no decency. LOL
Sorry if you want to defend her but my judgement is made from the hours & hours of case file I have read concerning this tragedy.
Nikki Warner & Casey Henderling should be charged with child abandonment at the least.
You people, so quick to judge with I’m sure all of the information at your disposal. Of course it was ALL gleaned from Facebook and rumor you heard from a friend of a friend. Or posted on the bathroom wall. Stop judging this girl. You DON’T know all the details, you will NEVER know all of the details and as far as I am concerned your opinions on this case are just simple noise thrown up into the wind.
You people are cruel, give her a break!!!! She lost her son. Do you people have any human decency?
What a confusing story.
I find this article truly disgusting. The reality is she is NO better then the scum that killed that boy. For all you bandwagon Nikki Warner fans, do you honestly believe she just tried to do the right thing for this boy? Do you honestly believe she did EVERYTHING she could to protect that boy? That boy was beaten over an EXTENDED amount of time. That boy was killed by that couple but he was failed by his “parents”. Now Sharyn maybe you can report on something the majority care about…the sentence for that piece of scum who helped her husband kill a little boy. The couple his parents willingly left and neglected to check on his welfare.
Cool story Nikki, looks like you fooled 50% of the readers.
Wow, I truly express my condolences and sympathies to Nikki Warner I also feel bad for her as well as Jasper. It seems like she has had a very rough up bringing. It is also very apparent that she was a good mother and cared for the best interests of her child. I do not believe that she knowingly put the child in harms way. It is also apparent to me that she was trying to get her act together when this happened. Nikki, you have been through a lot. I will never know what it is like to walk in your shoes. I hope that you are able to get your life back on track. I have never had a problem with addiction so I do not really know what it is like. I hope you are able to overcome the incredible hurdles and struggles that life has thrown at you. I feel that justice was served in this case. It is very sad what happened to your child. I can not imagine the torment that you go through at night, or the torment Jasper went though. If you ever need a friend to listen look me up. I wish the best for you.
RIP JASPER
Being a mother at 17 I made many many mistakes. You never know until your put in the situation what you would do. I’d like to think I would never leave my kids with anyone but hey I had parents. I had family. Sounds like this young lady thought that’s what these people were to her. Far to high a price to pay for being wrong. First reaction is to say where were you? It’s your fault!!! You think she hasn’t said that to herself every single day since it happened? She trusted the wrong people. Probably thought he was better there then with her for the moment. I’m going to choose to hurt for this mom instead of bashing her. I have no doubt she loved her son. I have no doubt she will suffer forever over this. I will pray that the biological kids that lost both parents don’t fall into the same fate as Jasper. Who knows where they are now. 34 years is to short a sentence. Life and nothing less and that still isn’t justice. Good job on staying sober. Please make your life as amazing as possible in honor of your son.
She didn’t have a phone but got the call he had been murdered…???
There are too many inconsistencies in this story.
R.I.P Jasper, I am sorry they failed you. 🙁
Thank you Sharyn for printing Nikkis’ story She has been through so much at a young age .
I feel sad that we didin’t know there was a child being mistreated …as Jasper was . I know there are many of us that would have helped if only we had a clue ..
Nikki is so right , that woman nor her husband should ever be near a child, children or an animal …They are not worthy of breathing air outside of prison …
Yep, she loved him so much that the coroner had to sue her and the boys father to make them quit being immature about the boys remains. That’s a lot of love right there.
Thank you, Sharyn, for your article. Nikki’s “story” has been overlooked and shadowed by all of the negativity that has unfortunately fallen upon her. Many have forgotten the simple fact that she lost her her son. And the suffering of that loss, is indeed, incomprehensible to most. So many people are ill-informed and quick to judge. We ALL have a life story…it is best not to comment about others’ if you’ve only read one chapter.
Again, I appreciate your honesty and transparency, but most of all, I appreciate your good heart! It shows in your writing! I’m glad to have met you!!
Best wishes,
Bridget
That child deserved better than trash like this !! Now go open a new go fund me page trash!!